Good morning, y’all. As my cold/plague settled deeply into my lungs, I got less and less motivated to leave my sofa. Mulva realized that the point behind stoicism and stupidity had been breached, and that I needed to see a real doctor. Not someone who just plays one on TV. I’ve taken two rounds of antibiotics now, and good things are happening. I am able to bend over to pick up a cup of coffee without the movement bring on a coughing spell that wakes up children five trailers down.
Speaking of someone who just plays a character on TV, we once had a President like that. The worst President of all time, George W. Bush, was so poorly equipped to be the leader of the free world that his handlers should all be prosecuted for product fraud. At least Ronald Reagan’s handlers had gone to the trouble to secure a candidate that could act. Regan’s handlers promoted a candidate that could deliver a line with the appropriate facial expressions and body language to convince the audience that he believed what he was saying. Not so with W. W was at a complete and utter loss as to how to erase the look of confusion on his face when asked a question by the press. That look of confusion was probably the reason that Bush gave the least number of press conferences of any President ever, by far. Out of sight, out of mind, was W’s handlers’ philosophy.
In spite of being kept behind the curtain while in Washington, and on a perpetual vacation at his ranch in Crawford, Texas, W occasionally got trapped by a question that he had not been prepped for. The depth and width of his intellect was revealed when W was confronted with a topic he had not been prepped for. In fact, W gave so many interesting answers, there have been books detailing them. They are called “Bushisms”. There are millions of them, but I’ll just list a few:
“They misunderestimated me.”
“I’m the commander, see. I don’t need to explain — I do not need to explain why I say things. That’s the interesting thing about being the President. Maybe somebody needs to explain to me why they say something, but I don’t feel like I owe anybody an explanation.”
“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”
“There’s an old saying in Tennessee—I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, ‘Fool me once, shame on…shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.'”
“Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.”
“See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.”
“I’ll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.”
“I’m telling you there’s an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That’s the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best.”
“Well, I mean that a defeat in Iraq will embolden the enemy and will provide the enemy – more opportunity to train, plan, to attack us. That’s what I mean. There – it’s – you know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.”
“I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we’re really talking about peace.”
“See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don’t attack each other. Free nations don’t develop weapons of mass destruction.”
“You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn’t it? I mean, that is fantastic that you’re doing that.”
“You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.”
Like I said, there are millions of them on the internet. I may keep looking harder to find the one where Bush is complimenting an Iraqi war veteran that had had both legs blown off in the war. The veteran had his legs replaced by those prosthetic blades that the South African runner used. Bush was gushing that the amputee should feel lucky for getting the bionic legs. The veteran was confused by his good fortune at the loss of both of his legs. Classic W.
So, if the bar for intellect is set incredibly low for the office of President, is it possible that we could elect another candidate as unprepared, as incapable as W again?