Donald, Donald, Donald
Good morning, y’all. As almost all of the leaves have fallen from the trees and the temps are dipping into the thirties, I am reminded once again that I need to finish picking the Granny Smiths before they fall to ground and go to waste. Actually, it’s Mulva that’s doing the reminding, and, in truth, they won’t go to waste. The squirrels and chipmunks love them.
Anyway, while I’m talking about low hanging fruit, The Donald has just been outstanding in the last few days displaying his total ignorance or lack of regard for the Constitution. I can’t take credit for using the low hanging fruit analogy when talking about The Donald. As both Jon Stewart and David Letterman decided to retire at the same time that The Donald announced his candidacy, both comics bemoaned the timing of their decisions. They both knew that their nightly routines would be pre-written for them by the dumb stuff The Donald was going to do. Let me reinforce, The Donald does not disappoint. Unless you’re talking about being guaranteed your Constitutional rights.
The first topic we’ll discuss is the right to assemble and the right of free speech. Now the Founding Fathers, whom the Repubs seem to hold in such high regard, held the right of free speech and the right to assemble so highly themselves that they put them right there in the First Amendment. Numero Uno, right up there with “thou shalt not kill” of Commandment fame. First Amendment rights are not so important to The Donald, particularly if your free speech and your right to assemble are used to heckle The Donald. In fact, The Donald might be obliged to encourage the crowd to “rough up” a person who would dare interrupt The Donald.
To be fair, like all megalomaniacs before him, The Donald expects everyone in the crowd to hang on his every word, drawing from his flower the nectar of their existence. If the gift of Trump is not appreciated, it is perfectly understandable by The Donald if the group collective wants to use force to oust the unappreciative. I won’t be obvious by playing the “H” card here, but let’s just say we have history with this type of behavior from a charismatic orator.
Next we’ll move on to immigration, or the desire to not do it. Build a wall, build a wall, and oh by the way, could we track all of the Muslims? No, really, it’s the only way The Donald will be able to get himself to sleep at night. First his hot bath, and then, being dressed in his sleepers with feet and a trap door in the back for convenience, he will be served his warm Ovaltine. With covers pulled up tightly under his chin, The Donald is then ready to be read his favorite bedtime story, “Trump and The Giant Peach”, which details The Donald’s arrival in New York. Now, the detailed reading of the activities of each and every Muslim in America will have to be read to The Donald before he can sleep peacefully. It sounds like a long, long night for the reader of the night time story, famed broadcaster, Garrison Keillor.
Never a shirker of his place in the worldwide community, The Donald is prepared to throw all public opinion, and International law under the bus in his attempt to help America fall asleep peacefully. That’s right folks, The Donald came out in favor of waterboarding this week. Comparing waterboarding as “peanuts” to what Isis is doing to hostages, The Donald seems to have lost the component that his alleged Christian values are supposed to bring to any situation. I hate to go all Old Testament on The Donald, but here you go, “Do not mistreat an alien or oppress him, for you were aliens in Egypt. Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan. If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry” Exodus 22:21-23. Sounds like The Big Guy is not in favor of abusing people in custody, but then I’m not a Biblical scholar. I’m sure The Donald has found his own scholar to support The Donald’s interpretation of the Good Book.
I tell you what, it’s going to get interesting at The Pearly Gates, and obviously a lot more interesting down here before the race is done.