The Gift That Keeps On Giving

BudLiteGood morning, y’all. I’ve just finished cleaning up the Rec room after our Republican debate party. The group was more subdued this time, no food fights, and a couple of the tenants actually stayed behind to give me a hand. I’m a big believer in “many hands make light work”, so I always let folks know I appreciate them when they help out. I figure I’ve got one or two more elections in me before we have to retire the tradition.

Speaking of retiring, how about that Jeb Bush shout out to Marco Rubio to retire? Loved it! Marco comes back with, “somebody just told you to pick on me because your numbers are bad”. It would have been a good rejoinder if Marco’s lip wasn’t quivering so much. Marco looked younger in the debate this time and really came across as a dweeb. The other end of the spectrum is John Kasich, who seems to have staked out the “wise old timer” role. Now, normally I’d say that in the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king; which should give Kasich the advantage, but the Republicans seem to be perfectly happy driving while blind.

These debates were hosted by CNBC and were supposed to be about financial matters. A bunch of the CNBC analysts were on hand to ask the deep questions only an analyst like Jim Cramer can ask. Cramer’s question was so deep I don’t even remember what it was. No matter, it wouldn’t have been answered anyway. The Repubs were in full attack mode of the bias left wing media and were refusing to answer questions. Ted Cruz chose to take his full time to rail against the unfairness of the questions as opposed to trying to separate his brand from the others. It is amazing how delusional these guys are. They find a question of Hillary about Benghazi totally appropriate, even though it has been asked and answered one hundred times before, but ask The Donald about his bankruptcies, and the bias left wing media isn’t playing fair. What a whining bunch of rich kids.

Anyway, here are my impressions of the “candidates”:

The Donald – I may not have ever noticed his hair before beyond the fact that it was a giant comb over with two gallons of Aqua Net sprayed on it to hold it in place. Tonight, there was something new going on, and it was not attractive. Neither were his responses to questions about his bankruptcies, the wall that Mexico is going to build for us, work visas, and whether or not he had cut CNBC back from a three hour debate to a two debate.

Ben Carson – seems to not be able to add, but I guess that’s not required much in brain surgery. When confronted with statistics about his proposed tax plan, Carson was everywhere but on point. While it looks like he’s altered his medication enough to not be appearing to fall asleep, he did get tripped up by another medication issue. Carson was called out about his involvement with the supplement company, Mannatech. Carson denied knowing that his picture was on the Mannatech website promoting the company. I don’t think anybody believed him.

Carly Fiorina – It is hard to not judge her on her looks and her harsh tone. I don’t think America is ready for an “Iron Lady” president, ala, Margaret Thatcher. Carly seems to be trying to convince everyone that she’s the meanest S.O.B. in the race, and she probably is. Her line about being “Hillary’s worst nightmare” rang true with me. If I saw Carly in a dream I would classify it as my worst nightmare, and I regularly dream about Zombies.

Jeb Bush –  whoever is running his campaign should be taken out and shot, and I’m sure will be. The only spark coming from Bush all night was when he called Marco out. Too little, too late. Time to say goodbye.

Marco Rubio – “my parents came here as refugees and were handed everything by the federal government and I want to deny those same opportunities to other Hispanics seeking asylum because they don’t deserve it, but my folks did. Wa Wa Wa! Don’t pick on me cause I don’t do my job, elect me as President and I’ll change, I swear”.

Ted Cruz – “we’re just as smart as the Democrats, we’re just not good at answering questions. So we want to pick the questions we’re asked, or I’ll just attack the moderators, the network and the biased liberal media. Cause it’s not possible people don’t like me because I’m a doofus, it has to be because of the media.” Cruz also has that swarmy quality of making my flesh crawl. Nothing presidential about that.

Chris Christie – by far the best politician on the stage and should be in the lead. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I get the feeling I’m watching a Cosa Nostra crime boss talk when Chris Christie is on. Chris has too much baggage, no pun intended, and doesn’t stand a snowball’s chance. He’s still the best politician on the stage though.

John Kasich – Most knowledgeable, and also has a strong history in politics, so you can actually see what he’s done, unlike Ben Carson and others. Would be the best president of the bunch, so it’ll never happen.

Mike Huckabee – “let me be your vice-president, please” “I know I’m not qualified to be president and if I got nominated people would start digging into my past and find a million reasons to not vote for me. Let me be your vice-president, no one ever scrutinizes the V.P.”

Well I think that’s all of them. A motley crew to be sure.

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