Blessed Assurance

BudLiteGood morning, y’all. There’s still a good bit of the white stuff laying about. I am reminded of Granny Waller’s old saying, “it’s just waiting for another one to lay over it”. Which I guess is a way old people told the weather before they had the Channel 11 Whiz O Meter to throw them off track. I guess the logic was that if the temperature was cold enough to keep the snow from melting, it was cold enough to snow the next time precipitation moved into the area. Not as fancy as photos from the International Space Station, but probably as effective. Like I always say, you could just call somebody in Birmingham and see what it’s doing there. Birmingham weather usually takes about four hours to reach us, plenty of time to batten down the hatches.

Harsh weather always makes me think about folks like Granny Waller who might need special attention during storms. That’s one of the reasons I installed the generator here at the Rec room. Older folks, of which I am rapidly becoming one, would have a familiar, safe spot to stay until the weather abates. The Rec room is cinder block construction and would survive a pretty good tornado I suspect. If we get enough warning, folks can come here and hunker down and not worry about having their survivors being interviewed on Channel 11 Alive. Mulva says she’d “just die if she’d been killed in a tornado and I was interviewed on TV. I just kind of look at her and marvel at the logic. I do get her meaning, I just marvel at her way of expressing herself, sometimes.

Anyway, Mulva was clear about her opinion of the move of  The Full Gospel Original Church of God to Blairsville. It seems like there was an article in this week’s edition of the North Georgia News that was not exactly welcoming of the move of an “outlier cult” to the most prominent piece of architecture in Blairsville. Now, I think the folks at the Union County Jail might give argument to the Crystal Palace being the most prominent piece of architecture, but that was not what had Mulva’s fur ruffled. The phrase “outlier cult” stuck in Mulva’s craw so bad that she could barely talk. The article was right next to an article about a multi-convicted pedophile who had been arrested again. From the picture in the paper, the dude looked like he was ninety, even though they listed his age is 67. Well, jail does age a man.

Anyway, back to the point, Mulva was completely flummoxed by the sentiments expressed in the news article. The Full Gospel Original Church of God was gaining viewership each week in the telecasts on Channel 99 in Blairsville. Folks were coming from as far away as Columbus to the services, and the church was busting at the seams. The acceptance of the church by more folks was the reason the Elders had gone to Blairsville seeking out a larger sanctuary. The real estate agent, Ima Goochey, had been more than happy to take a year’s rent up front and allow the parishioners the opportunity to bring the building up to code. Now that the ball was rolling, the church was meeting outside resistance to the move. It was not like there wasn’t plenty of resistance already by the old-timers within the church to the move. The news article was giving the “stay in the valley” crowd another argument for staying put.

I’m guessing the strong emotions expressed by the Elders and the congregation were the background for the Reverend Helen Handbasket’s sermon this week, which was on “Wrath”. Truth be told, I don’t know who exactly the sermon was directed at. Part of the sermon seem to draw on some Old Testament, vengeful God, ideas that I assumed were directed at the “city slickers” in Blairsville who would try to take advantage of the The Full Gospel Original Church of God. The summation of the sermon seemed to be directed at the congregation, with an entreaty to calm their wrath for one another. The Reverend Helen Handbasket closed the sermon with Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”.

Fortunately for the TV viewing audience, the Reverend finished up in time to get the altar call and testament of faith in the telecast. The snakes looked a little sluggish, but, don’t we all this time of year?

Leave a Reply