Sweet Hour of Prayer II

Good morning, y’all. The hurricane missed us and we’re just pleased as punch to be standing on high ground and not surrounded by things that are supposed to be in the ocean like boats and sharks and barracuda and such. Let’s hope the Florida governor will let socialism work for a while to recover his ravaged state. He might be a purist, we’ll see.

It occurred to me after I ran out of space on my ramble about Church-In-Abox, that I really hadn’t described the services at the Little Church in the Valley last week. Before we get into that, though, let me say that just in case there’s some wily entrepreneurs out there hoping to get fat off of my idea, I hereby trademark the phrase Church-In-Abox and copyright any phrases and ideas that might spring forth from my original concept. It ain’t often I have a good idea and I think this one is a corker.

Anyway, convenient repentance for the un-absolved is what I’m all about. To that end, I’ll continue my reporting of last week’s service. I was in my usual spot at The Full Gospel Original Church of God to watch the Right Reverend Dale E. Bread deliver this week’s sermon on God’s watchfulness. I think the title of the sermon was,“His Eye Is On The Sparrow”. The implication being that if God has the time to watch out for something as small as a sparrow, he’s certainly watching over us.

The Right Reverend tried to blend in equal parts of “God is watching out for us”, and “God is watching us”. I think he came down a little heavier on the “God is watching us”, from my perspective. Maybe the heavier message was delivered to himself. I know that if God has as good a method for watching as the TackyToo surveillance system, He’s got the Right Reverend dead to rights on a couple of issues. I think I’m remembering right that adultery still applies if only one of the parties is married. Of course, if both parties are not married, fornication applies. I do not see a Heavenly course for the Right Reverend, if the Lord is watching.

Well, the good news is that the Right Reverend has worked a timber rattler back into the Testament of Faith. The rattler seemed amused by the Right Reverend’s “tap dance for Jesus”, but not so amused as to be offended. The new team member played nice and went back into his box without incident. I’m sure that the Right Reverend will tell you that sometimes prayers are answered. I know mine were when the services ended at 12 noon on the dot. I had left a pork butt on the Big Green Egg that needed basting. In everyone’s life there are priorities and mine at that particular point in time was making sure that I didn’t render a way too expensive piece of meat into shoe leather.

I made it home just in time and the butt was delicious if I do say so myself. Looks like we’ll have to get to the telecast from the Crystal Palace later. There’s news coming on about the greatest football player ever, one of the worst humans, making a fool of himself again. “Pride goeth before a fall”, as they say in church.

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